Your baby is just a few days old but already every time he squawks, somebody asks, “are you sure you have enough milk?” or they say, “you’re not feeding, again?” Now you are stressed to the max wondering, ‘do I have enough milk?’ and ‘am I starving my baby?’

Before you reach for the bottle (of milk, that is), you might feel reassured to know that your newborn’s tummy is only the size of a marble at first and will expand to about the size of  a golf-ball at about ten days. Also, breast-milk is very quickly and easily digested so your baby will need frequent feeds, at least in the early weeks. It is perfectly normal for a breastfed baby to need 8 to 12 feeds in 24 hours in the first few weeks. This could mean that he will feed as often as every two hours - and that means two hours from the beginning of one feed to the beginning of the next, not two hours between feeds.

Is he getting enough?

If your completely breastfed baby is having six to eight wet nappies a day and, during the first six weeks, one to two (or more) good bowel motions daily, this is a pretty good indication that he is getting enough milk: what comes out, must have gone in! Weight checks will reassure you too.

Making milk

Breast milk production works on a ‘supply and demand’ basis: the more milk you remove from your breasts, the more they will make and an ‘empty’ breast will make milk more quickly. So, even in the early days, you can increase your milk supply quite quickly by allowing your baby to feed whenever he shows hunger signs (rooting movements with his mouth, sucking noises or trying to suck on his hand). Between feeds, cuddling your baby skin to skin will boost your milk production hormones - and your milk supply.

Feeding to Make More Milk

To boost your milk supply, baby needs to be well attached (get an expert to check)

and nursing efficiently. Offer both breasts at each feed. As baby slows his sucking, encourage him to drain the breast (and stimulate more milk) by compressing your breast so that milk is expressed into his mouth. You can also try ’switch feeding’ - let baby suck on one breast until he slows his swallowing then switch sides, several times during a feed

Too much milk?

At the other extreme, if your breasts are gushing, your baby is covered in milk and spluttering with the force of the flow, and you’re uncomfortably full again soon after you feed, this can cause just as much concern.

If your baby is finding it difficult to contend with a fast milk flow (hence the spluttering),try expressing a little milk off until your initial flow slows before attaching your baby and also remove your baby from the breast as you have subsequent ‘letdowns’ during the feed (let the milk flow into a nappy or cup).  If you try positioning your baby so he is more upright as he feeds, perhaps lying against you as you recline, this will give him more control over the fast milk flow.

To help regulate your milk supply, feed your baby from one breast only, over a three to four hour period. If he wants to feed again within that time return to the ‘used’ breast. At first you will need to express just enough from the other breast for comfort but don’t overdo this as you don’t want to overstimulate your supply.  As well as regulating your milk supply, your baby will get more fattier hind milk, which will help to keep him satisfied for longer periods of time and may reduce gas and tummy pains.

Pinky McKay is an Internationally Certified Lactation Consultant, infant massage instructor and author of Sleeping Like a Baby and 100 Ways to Calm the Crying. For her Free Report “10 things you must know about breastfeeding before you have your baby” visit  http:www.pinkymckay.com.au

A good book is precious in our house - we treasure it and look at it over and over again.  Books don’t always have to be for reading, either.   Sure we read to our kids, but they also enjoy grabbing a book off the shelf and looking at the pictures (and then leaving them in a pile on the floor. But that’s another story).  Books we read to our kids aren’t to teach our kids to read, but simply to spend some time together. We have many favourites, some which are loved for their tongue-twisting rhymes, some for their inclusion of bottoms and jokes, but most are simply for their wonderful illustrations.  And in the tradition of what goes around comes around, some of our kids favourites were our favourites when we were their age.

Books make great gifts. We choose a special ‘birthday book’ each year for our kids, something that might help them to remember certain times of their lives, or simply a book that includes a favourite of the moment.   But it doesn’t have to be all about the purchase (although we have had some lovely Saturday mornings wandering the aisles of a local bookshop) because we also love going to the library as well.  Our local library has regular story times for toddlers and school holiday events.  It’s also worth checking out your library’s website – ours gives us links to book related children’s programs online like Storyline Online, which is an initiative of the Screen Actors Guild and has videos of actors reading well loved stories.

Don’t like reading aloud?  It helps to make it fun, both for your kids and yourself – put on a funny voice, talk about the pictures.  Wonderful Australian author Mem Fox (of Possum Magic fame) has tips on reading aloud to kids, most of which involve taking the time to enjoy the moment.  We’ve also found that it helps to choose a relaxed time for reading together (bedtime is sometimes not the best choice in our house), and also to keep the stories short. 

What’s your favourite book to read together? Here are a few of ours:

-          Harry the Dirty Dog (Gene Zion)

-          Brown Bear, Brown Bear (Bill Martin Jr and Eric Carle)

-          The Very Hungry Caterpillar (Eric Carle)

-          Spot (Eric Hill)

-          Possum Magic (Mem Fox)

-          Rosie’s Walk (Pat Hutchins)

-          Charley Harper ABC’s

-          The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog! (Mo Willems)

-          Whatever (William Bee)

-          Mr McGee and the Biting Flea (Pamela Allen)

It seems to be birthday season at the moment. Master 6 years is quite the party socialite and is getting very tired of the pre-party instructions – eat just a little bit of everything.. (yes Mum), drink lots of water (yes Mum) and NO SOFT DRINKS! I think if he were to be honest with himself, he would admit that HE doesn’t even like soft drinks – he just knows it’s naughty so there must be something good about them, right? Actually , soft drinks in no way benefits him, in fact drinking coke wreaks real havoc on the human organism.

According to the Nutrition Research Center, this is what happens to your body within 1 hour of drinking a can of coke:

In The First 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don’t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down.

20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on into fat. (There’s plenty of that at this particular moment)

40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dilate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.

45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.

>60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.

>60 Minutes: The caffeine’s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you’ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.

>60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you’ll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You’ve also now, eliminated all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.

So there you have it, an avalanche of destruction in a single can. Imagine drinking this day after day, week after week. Big yikes.

Master 6 yr old goes through periods where he is more likely to blow his top easily. Sometimes it will happen for no apparent reason (to us) and my husband and I will look at each other gobsmacked. “Where did that come from”? we’ll both ask, but not really exploring that question at all. 

 To effectively curb big behavior problems, such as anger, you need to put in some time and work. It’s important to take stock of the situation and try to see the world through your child’s eyes.  Think like your child! This is the work. Emily Geizer has come up with 10 tips (plus a bonus) to curb your child’s anger:

Acknowledge feelings.

Whether you understand or agree with your child’s distress does not matter. Instead of dismissing her feelings as overly sensitive or irrational, say something like: “you look so mad!”

Work to “catch” your child being good.

Find every opportunity to say something positive especially when a child is particularly sensitive and relations might be tumultuous.

Write down a free-flowing list of the problems as you see them (include both parents, if applicable). Write down everything that frustrates you either in the moment or at the end of the day. This will lead to #5.

Talk with other people in your child’s life.

Understanding what they experience and the pervasiveness of your child’s anger will give you insight into the depth of the issue and maybe even the cause.

Try to identify a common theme and/or trigger (reflect on #3 & 4).

Understanding this will shed light on the root of the problem, which will enable you to make permanent changes, rather than temporary bandages.

Turn to resources, such as books or websites based on the specific theme or situation

Eg sibling rivalry, school trouble, friendship challenges, perceived inadequacies or imbalances, etc. Yes, this takes time, but some aspects of parenting are not intuitive. Rely on experts to ease these struggles.

Prioritize the list of problems to address, and focus on one at a time.

Action lists help to keep everyone focused and on-task. Place sticky notes around to remind you of the one focus for the week.

Create a tangible game plan.

Present the plan to the child. In many situations, involving the children sends the message that helping them is very important to you. It also inspires and  empowers them to be an active part of the game plan.

Be intentional.

Intentional parenting is in part about making the minute changes necessary to keep up with your ever-changing and evolving child.

BONUS TIP

Tell your child again and again how much you love them. Don’t assume your child knows how you are feeling. This may be a shock, but your child does not know how much you love them, how proud you are of them, or how often you think of them.

Be aware of children’s constant development and understand that what works today might not work tomorrow. For the same reason, what was a problem yesterday might not be as dramatic tomorrow or next week. With the appropriate intervention, these phases are often quick to pass, although it’s easy to question this in the heat of the moment.

Emily Geizer is a parenting coach and author of Child Perspecitve.

·         Confused about baby sleep advice?

·         Concerned about the impact of baby sleep training regimes such as controlled crying?

·         Looking for gentle baby sleep and settling techniques that WORK?

Best selling baby sleep author, Pinky McKay presents a ‘not to be missed’ seminar for both parents and health professionals!

Sleep, Love and Your Baby’s Brain
New evidence shows that some approaches to ‘teaching babies to sleep’ may cause long term, adverse changes to a baby’s developing brain.

Pinky McKay (author, Sleeping Like a Baby, 100 Ways to Calm the Crying, Internationally Certified Lactation Consultant and infant massage instructor), examines this evidence and offers gentle options to encourage infant sleep and settling that also promote optimum brain and emotional development, along with a secure parent-infant bond. Babies welcome!

Pinky is holding seminars in Melbourne in the months of February and March,2010

Interested? Read More.

We’re all aware that keeping babies cool and hydrated is so important on hot days, but there seems to be mixed opinions on whether to give baby water. We checked in with the ABA’s Breastfeeding Helpline for some important advice on the topic.

Studies carried out in hot climates, like India, have shown that babies allowed to breastfeed whenever they want, do not become dehydrated. Breastmilk is itself mostly water and in hot weather, babies tend to go to the breast more often, for short feeds. This way they get extra foremilk, which is thinner and more refreshing than the fat rich hind-milk. So let your baby have as many extra feeds as she wishes and she will get plenty of water.

In case your baby gets irritated and hot while nursing you may want to place a cool towel or baby sheet on your arm and lap. You may also want to try lying down on your side and feeding your baby.

Do remember that air conditioners can also dehydrate the body and your baby may need frequent feeds even though she may be cool. It is important that you drink adequate water through the day, especially before you sit down to nurse your baby. And it is wise to offer bottle fed babies some boiled cooled water in hot weather.  BPa-free sippy cups such as the Thermos Sippy cup are perfect for babies 6 months plus.  I find my 9 month old baby is very easily amused with her cup and treats it as quite a game (as you can see!), making it a fun way to stay hydrated.  As she has started solids, we mix extra breastfeeds with sips of water throughout the day.

The one thing noone ever showed me before my first baby was how to swaddle (or wrap) a baby. In fact I had no idea what the word “swaddle” meant before I was pregnant. Babies generally feel the most secure when swaddled for the first 4 months of life. Swaddling reminds them of their in-womb existance and also prevents them from feeling starttled by their natural reflex, as it keeps their arms close by thei side.

The Merino Kids Cocooi Swaddle wrap is an ideal all year round swaddle as the merino is such a natural, breathable fibre. I used this exact product for my baby for the first couple of months, and noticed a visible difference in my baby’s mood as I put her in it. Just watch the baby in this footage as she is wrapped.

Check out the Merino Kids Cocooi Baby wraps here

When my eldest child was 2, my poor husband was very much accustomed to the daily phone call from me at around 3pm – “how much longer until you’re home? I’ve had a gutful of this endless drudgery! Cant you just  leave work NOW?”. Soon after this we swapped roles – I went into work and he stayed home (“Mr Mum” style). It was only a few months before I was receiving that same phone call from him.

We knew there had to be a better way – and that way was shared parenting. We’ve been sharing the role for 3 years now and have never looked back – our kids have happier, more balanced parents and neither of us dread our Monday mornings.

This parenting style has an official name (and of course an official acronym). It’s called “Equally Shared Parenting,” or ESP for short.  The philosophy behind ESP is that neither spouse acts as understudy or manager to the other, that both are equally competent and responsible in all areas of family life. “ESP couples feel that their lives are happiest if they can both spend about the same amount of time on average in paid work endeavours, in caring for their home, in taking care of their children, and in their own outside interests” says Amy Vachon, author of soon to be released Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules for a New Generation of Parents

 Sounds good? Some of our friends have joined the ESP club too. Here’s Amy’s suggestions for making such a life work:

It’s not about the laundry. Too often, Amy says, people hear about the concept and immediately think it’s about getting a lazy dad to do more. “It’s not what we are saying at all. I presume (fathers) are working as much as their wives are, and there’s a need to reshuffle things and work as much as you’re working now, but get balance and equality back in your life. It’s so you can live in a place where you like your life, instead of trying to get through life.”

For true equality, both of you work outside the home, in paid jobs. While Amy  stresses that the ESP model isn’t a the right answer for every family, it requires that the breadwinning burden is shared as much as all the other aspects of running a family. And there are benefits to that as well. For example, both partners working  part-time schedules to allow them more time for everything; having just one of them be the breadwinner wouldn’t allow such flexibility. “

Look at the recession as an opportunity. While the conventional wisdom says “show up early, stay late, take on extra work” to prove your value to an employer, asking for more flexibility might actually be a good idea in these times, Amy says. Companies might not be able to offer raises, but they might jump at the chance to keep a valued employee at a reduced schedule — and corresponding salary cut. “If our companies are faced with a decision between layoffs and reducing employees hours, we might be able to jump at the chance to try out a new work schedule that could lead to an epiphany about the value of money versus time,” Amy says.

Rethink what work means to you. Is it part of a balanced life, or is it at the center of your life? Some successful ESP-ers have actually stepped back from the career treadmill  before having kids and working a reduced schedule,  in order to have time to pursue other interests and actually enjoy both their job and their life, a pattern that fits well once children come along. This means one would have to be okay with the reality that they may never get their corner office or company car spot.

Embrace your own competence as a person, partner and parent. That goes for both partners, and it’s key to the whole idea of equally shared parenting. If you trust your partner to handle things at home as well as you would, that means you can wander off for a bike ride or yoga class without feeling guilty, especially since your partner will be getting the same freedom and accommodation of their interests as well. “Neither of us has to do any preparation in order to leave the house or the kids in the capable hands of our spouse, and therefore we are then able to concentrate on simply finding the time to get out,” Amy says.

Communicate with each other and adjust if things are getting out of balance. The first six months of babydom involves so much sleep deprivation and potential anxiety, and is often a set-up in our culture for women to take on the lion’s share of the caregiving, so you have to be pretty cognisant of staying the course. Equally shared parenting does not, alas, lead to a partnership and life blissfully free of conflict. ESP-ers ave to deal with all the same stuff most couples have to deal with. Many find that their communication framework forces them to talk about things instead of letting it simmer.

Perhaps most importantly, remember that you’re on the same team — Something the traditional model of parenting, with its separate spheres for each spouse, does not emphasise. Part of what inspired Amy and her partner to come up with this model of parenting was the negative image of parenting in much of the literature. “Those mummy-misery books scared me, and at the same time made me angry because they never seemed to mention men,” Amy says. “I realised that Marc’s role was entirely invisible in these angry depictions of the state of… motherhood, and I held onto the ideal of an equal partnership for dear life all through my first pregnancy.”

At heart, Amy says, it’s that neither parent gets an exclusive hold on the “good stuff” — whether that be career satisfaction, time with the kids, or time to themselves. “ESP is not about scorekeeping or making sure the time comes out exactly even; rather, the couple is sustained by the idea that a happy partner makes for a happy relationship, which makes for a great life — and they want to make sure their partner gets his/her fair share of the fun.”

Check out Amy’s website Equally Shared Parenting here

Had a lovely visit from beautiful Donna today (thats her above having a cuddle with my 4 month old bubba). Donna is known as ”Wise Mumma” to many of her clients - women who may once have felt un-prepared and anxious about the birth of their baby… until they experienced Donna and her childbirth preparation.

Hospital pre natal classes generally have a strong focus on the physical preparation for birth, and many mums put off much of their parenting preparation thinking all will be covered in these classes. I know from experience with the birth of my first child,  that the hospital pre-natal classes had me feeling prepared on one level, however it was a different story once the reality of the birth process un-folded and I was left feeling some what powerless and vulnerable with the process.

Donna’s childbirth preparation classes not only fill the information gap left by many hopital pre-natal   classes, but most importantly fill couples with confidence and inspiration about the choices that they have made for their birthing journey. Donna works very much on a “heart-level” in her work, encouraging participants in her class to trust their intuition and go forth in choosing care providers who meet their needs, and encouraging new parents to be well prepared for the journey ahead.

Donna’s Spring/Summer one day workshops are commencing soon. For busy couples who cant commit to a full day, Donna is also available for one-on-one education about birthing and early parenting in the comfort of your own home. Donna’s current worskhop schedule and contact details can be found at www.nurturebirthsupport.com.au

Do you remember going to the park and climbing on the jungle gym? Or climbing trees in the backyard? Although most toddlers start their climbing careers with a jaunt up onto the dining room table, possibly even before they can walk (and try not to shriek out loud in shock the first time that it happens!), there seems to be less and less time and freedom for most children to climb safely outdoors.

This is a pity because all that tree climbing, along with swinging and hanging from monkey bars and trees, helps children develop upper body, arm and shoulder strength that precede the fine motor skills required for writing, painting and sorting blocks into shape sorters. Climbing also helps develop hand-eye and eye-foot coordination, body control, muscle tone and cross patterning (opposite arm and leg movement), as well as spatial awareness and concepts such as up, down, low and high.

As your toddler begins to climb- up and down stairs, up into chairs and sofas or even onto tables (for safety’s sake, you may have to remove the chairs when you can’t supervise), teach him to turn around and climb down backwards feet first- use a single word such as ’safe safe’ as you turn his body around. With lots of consistent repetition, he will eventually be able toclimb safely- up and down!

Although you may feel your heart in your mouth and a sense of panic as your little one climbs, it is really important not to transmit your own fears, so mind your language and resist the urge to tell him ‘be careful, you will fall!’, This could distract him and may even cause him to fall or he could lose confidence. If he is free to concentrate with you nearby to break his fall if necessary, he will attempt just what he is reasonable capable of and he will develop so much confidence you will soon be wondering if he has monkey glands.

As well as (or in preparation for) climbing, you can help develop upper body coordination by playing ‘wheel barrows’ with your toddler supporting your child’s body horizontally as she ’stands’ or ‘walks’ on her hands - and letting her hang and swing from bars (or safe, smooth branches). Even a one year old can swing from a horizontal bar (preferably safer alternatives than the door or towel rails!) or a trapeze with support (hold him around his hips), but do teach your child to grip with his thumbs underneath this bar as this is a stronger, safer grip.  Incidentally, it is also the correct grip to hold a pencil later on.

About the author - Pinky McKay is an Internationally Certified Lactation Consultant, a Certified Infant Massage Instructor with Infant Massage Australia and respected parenting author.  Check out Toddler Tactics by Pinky McKay  and Pinky’s Melbourne Toddler Tactic Seminars here.  For more information about Pinky please visit www.pinkymckay.com.au.