By Pinky

Your baby or toddler’s sleep patterns can be affected by his diet. Restlessness can be caused by allergies or food intolerance, sometimes to foods passing through your breastmilk (your baby is never allergic to your breastmilk). If you or your partner suffer from allergies such as excema, asthma or hay fever, or if there is a family history of allergies, there is an increased liklihood that your baby will also suffer from allergies. The best way to protect your baby from allergies is to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months. If you are bottle feeding and suspect allergies, consult a doctor. There are hypo-allergenic formulas, but these are expensive without a script.

Food allergies in exclusively breastfed babies are caused by foods that pass into your breastmilk, not to your breast-milk itself. Allergies in infants may cause symptoms including: colic, nausea, vomiting and reflux, wheezing and respiratory congestion, dermatitis and various rashes (although other medical causes should be ruled out for these symptoms). The most common culprit is cow’s milk protein (found in milk, cheese and yoghurt).

Food additives are present in ever-increasing numbers in almost all processed foods and these can dramatically affect sleep patterns and behaviour. Some babies and children can also become restless after eating foods containing salicylates. Food intolerance expert Sue Dengate has seen remarkable changes in children’s behaviour, including infant sleep patterns, with simple dietary changes, such as changing the brand of bread eaten.

Elimination of foods may take anywhere from a few days to several weeks to make a difference to your baby’s behaviour so allergies are difficult to prove or disprove, but if it calms your baby (and you), modifying your diet is a small sacrifice.

For more great tips about parenting, see Sleeping like a Baby by Pinky McKay available here at Bebe, or visit Pinky’s website - www.pinkymckay.com.au for information about her private consulting work in Melbourne.

by Pinky

The Australian National Health and Medical Research Council are currently  revising safe drinking guidelines and it looks as though pregnant and breastfeeding women will be advised not to drink alcohol at all. This is because, in light of worldwide research, a safe limit of alcohol consumption can’t be determined during pregnancy and breastfeeding. There are potential risks to babies whose immature livers arent able to process the alcohol transmitted through the placenta or their mother’s milk.

Known adverse affects on baby…..Daily consumption of alcohol by breastfeeding mothers has been shown to affect babies sleep patterns (with babies falling asleep more quickly but waking more often), increases the risk of slow weight gain and slows gross motor development.

And you……Although many people may tell you that a glass of alcohol will increase your milk supply, there is evidence that this isn’t the case. Drinking more than two standard drinks can inhibit your letdown and even small doses of alcohol can alter the taste of breast-milk. Babies dislike this, so may not drain the breast. These factors could result in temporarily reducing your milk supply and an inadequately drained breast could increase the liklihood of mastitis.

Alcohol levels in your milk……..If you do choose to drink while you are breastfeeding, it is important to be aware that alcohol will pass into your milk very easily - as your blood alcohol level rises, so does the level of alcohol in your breastmilk. The good news is that as your blood alcohol level drops, so does the level of alcohol in your milk. Alcohol peaks in your blood approximately half an hour to an hour after drinking (this varies among individuals, depending on factors such as how much food was eaten in the same time period, your body weight and percentage of body fat.

Reducing the risks…….Bear in mind that alcohol will affect your responsiveness to your baby so whether you , are breastfeeding or not, if you drink it is wise to have a designated parent (one parent stays sober and in charge of the baby) just as you would have a designated driver.

For more great tips to enhance your parenting life,  see Pinky McKay’s books available here at Bebe, or visit Pinky’s website for information about  Pinky and her workshops for parents.

By Pinky

Your baby or toddler’s sleep patterns can be affected by his diet. Restlessness can be caused by allergies or food intolerance, sometimes to foods passing through your breastmilk (your baby is never allergic to your breastmilk). If you or your partner suffer from allergies such as excema, asthma or hay fever, or if there is a family history of allergies, there is an increased liklihood that your baby will also suffer from allergies. The best way to protect your baby from allergies is to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months. If you are bottle feeding and suspect allergies, consult a doctor. There are hypo-allergenic formulas, but these are expensive without a script.

Food allergies in exclusively breastfed babies are caused by foods that pass into your breastmilk, not to your breast-milk itself. Allergies in infants may cause symptoms including: colic, nausea, vomiting and reflux, wheezing and respiratory congestion, dermatitis and various rashes (although other medical causes should be ruled out for these symptoms). The most common culprit is cow’s milk protein (found in milk, cheese and yoghurt).

Food additives are present in ever-increasing numbers in almost all processed foods and these can dramatically affect sleep patterns and behaviour. Some babies and children can also become restless after eating foods containing salicylates. Food intolerance expert Sue Dengate has seen remarkable changes in children’s behaviour, including infant sleep patterns, with simple dietary changes, such as changing the brand of bread eaten.

Elimination of foods may take anywhere from a few days to several weeks to make a difference to your baby’s behaviour so allergies are difficult to prove or disprove, but if it calms your baby (and you), modifying your diet is a small sacrifice.

For more great tips about parenting, see Sleeping like a Baby by Pinky McKay available here at Bebe, or visit Pinky’s website - www.pinkymckay.com.au for information about her private consulting work in Melbourne.

Throughout my pregnancy with my first son I travelled extensively. Our little guy had been in Wales, Italy, Ireland, England, Hong Kong and Singapore by the time he was six months inutero. I imagined that once he was born the passion for travel would be innate, and so we planned on making that a reality. By the time Finn was 9 weeks old he had boarded his first flight to Cairns from Melbourne and within his first three years of life he’d boarded 14 planes, visited five other countries and taken many long car trips with us and his new brother around our state. We’ve had some pretty interesting moments along the way, but also learned a few tricks of the trade.

TIPS for SUCCESS

• Book tickets for flights out of peak/business times. You may get a quieter plane, and thus more room to move.
• Breastfeed or give your baby a dummy or bottle during take off and landing if they are awake, to prevent sore ears. Arrive at the airport at least 30 minutes earlier than you normally would have pre-kids. You never know when you’ll need to change a nappy or a whole outfit (yours or theirs!)
• If you are planning on visiting relatives overseas, plan ahead and do it with your child when they are quite young and less mobile. It will be easier for everyone and won’t create as much frustration for your child.
• Always pack more clothing than you think that you will need. Small people have an incredible habit of making mess.
• Pack a baby carrier.

There are times at an airport or when on a flight that are more difficult than others. Try and plan ahead so that you aren’t standing in a line at the airport at your childs normal nap or sleep time. If this is un-avoidable, use your baby carrier to keep your child close. Busy airports and strange faces galore are overwhelming for small people. Being safely strapped to their favourite people can make a huge difference to how much they cope with these busy places. With more than one child or children over the age of one, a compact stroller, such as the Quinny Zapp is a must have for enabling in-transit naps. The Quinny Zapp is an ideal stroller for travel as it fits into a compact travel bag and suitable to be carried on as on-board luggae.

AT TAKE-OFF & AT LANDING……

• Ask the airline staff for help. You can ask for a ‘meet and greet’ service, in which you’ll get help to get through cues and fast-track baggage collection.
• Ask for a bassinette seat. Depending on your childs age, you may be eligible for one. Even if it isnt a sleep space that suits your child, you can still use the extra foot room, and it’s a great vantage point for a wee one to check out everyone else from up high.
• Request an aisle seat. It’s the perfect place to sit down after walking some laps of the plane with your little one in your baby carrier, without having to climb over the knees of a perfect stranger.
• Please dont medicate your children. Whilst some parents believe that it is appropriate, I feel that parents should be cautious about using sedatives with young children. Dr Sarah Buckley (GP, mother and author) says that “although these are medically safe, they can have the opposite effect in some children, causing hyperactivity and nightmatres. A better alternative is to use physical contact and cuddles, which will reassure as well as soothe. Breastfeeding is an ideal sedative (for both mother and baby) and another excellent remedy is lavender oil, using 1-2 drops on the upper chest, or for a young baby, on their clothing.”

Travelling with children offers an abundance of wonderful experiences and rewards, and with some careful planning and a few ‘Plan B’s’ up your sleeve, taking off with the family can be an incredible time for you all. Happy and safe holidays! Enjoy making some beautiful memories.

About the author - Donna Sheppard-Wright is a former nanny, mother of two delightful rascally sons and juggles a career as a birth attendant/post natal mother’s support with working part time at bebe. We’re lucky to have Donna share her insight into her experience of new-motherhood and how to ensure you have the support you need when your baby arrives. Donna can be contacted at nurture@netspace.net.au.

By Pinky

I had taken a family to an antenatal class to demonstate baby massage to the pregnant parents. As this gorgeous little three month old chuckled with glee, holding out her tiny leg for a massage, one of the expectant fathers asked, “does this meant that she will be ‘high maintenance’ later on?”

Although I jokingly deflected his question, I realised a few comments later that there was a fear among the group about creating bad habits and ’spoiling’ babies by giving them too much attention. Sadly I also meet many new parents who feel they need to justify their actions or seek approval because their babies need help to settle or love to be held lots. For many parents, it seems that this fear of ‘bad habits’ is clouding the joy of being with their families.

There is alot of pressure to have a ‘good baby’ - a baby who will self settle and sleep for hours or at least a baby who doesnt demand attention. The truth is, there is no such person as a ‘good’ baby. Babies are just like the rest of us with legitimate emotional needs as well as the more obvious physical needs to be clean and fed. Some little people are more sensitive and some are more social than others. Also, just like us, some days they need extra cuddles (as do their mothers on these high need days!)

The good news is that your loving attention can make your baby smarter: neuroscientists and clinicians have documented that loving interactions that are sensitive to a child’s needs influence the way the brain grows and can increase the number of connections between nerve cells. Other research shows that rather than becoming ‘high maintenance’, babies whose needs are responded to in the first six months of life are less demanding toddlers.

So, rather than letting guilt or concern that you may be creating ‘bad habits’ or extra work in the long run by giving your baby too much attention, why not relax and enjoy every sweet cuddle and coo. There will be plenty of time later on to change any habit ‘gradually with love’ and, whether you want to stop rocking your baby to sleep or encourage him to amuse himself on the floor, transitions will be easier when your child is developmentally ready. Meanwhile, ignore the critics who caution that you will spoil your little one as you consider the words of American paediatric nurse specialist Kittie Frantz who advises, “you are not managing an inconvenience, you’re raising a human being.”

For more great tips about parenting, see Sleeping like a Baby by Pinky McKay available here at Bebe, or visit Pinky’s website - www.pinkymckay.com.au for information about her private consulting work in Melbourne.

At some stage in most of our lives as parents, we need to consider childcare. Whether it’s for our new babies, or for those who are independant of us and walking and talking, there are many things to consider. As a former nanny, as now as a mother who has waded through the maze of choices available, I have to say that it is personal choice, and based very much on what each individual family need, can afford and what suits each child.

The Rolls Royce of childcare has to be the private nanny. Someone who can come into your home, blend in to your normal routines and rhythms and create a unique one on one relationship with your child/ren is invaluable. Nannies can be found on websites, through one of the many reputable agencies world-wide, or by word of mouth. Sometimes families share nannies, which gives the nanny some variety in her job, and gives two families a balance with their needs. The one thing that is important though is that you trust your instincts on who you choose. Whilst qualifications, manner and appearances are important, the most valuable thing is that you trust the nanny 100% in your absence, and that your children like and respect them.

Many nannies will come with experience, references, a current first aid certificate, a police check and perhaps a qualification in childcare. However, some of the best nannies I have seen have little experience in a nanny role, but great experience in life. Those nannies cant be discounted as simply inexperienced and inappropriate, and can usually provide a wonderful canvas of life experiences to draw from to care for children. Quite often, someone who has a clean driving record of 20 years, has travelled the world, and done many varied jobs in her/his life has much to offer children, and can be ideal. It then comes down to their ability to relate well to children, and be professional in his/her role.

Whatever form a nanny takes, its important like with any employee, to ensure that you have an ongoing review process and keep communication open. Giving your nanny positive feedback and also looking at areas that need change will keep his/her job clear, and ensure that everyone is clear with what expectations are set and what the changing job requirements are.

A good agency will ensure that a nanny employed through them has insurance, and that all of the checks will be done. It’s simply then up to you whether it’s a good ‘fit’ for her/him with your family and needs. On the other hand, if you do the groundwork yourself, there is much paper shuffling to be done, and “i’s” to be dotted and “t’s” to be crossed. At the end of the day, a nanny who you value, and who feels valued in your family is an asset, and will quite often become like another family member. A happy nanny who feels content in his/her work and appreciated usually means children who are happy, and that has to be a good thing!

About the author - Donna Sheppard-Wright is a former nanny, mother of two delightful rascally sons and juggles a career as a birth attendant/post natal mother’s support with working part time at bebe. We’re lucky to have Donna share her insight into her experience of new-motherhood and how to ensure you have the support you need when your baby arrives. Donna can be contacted at nurture@netspace.net.au.

By Pinky McKay

Do you lend your friends your car, computer or brand new shoes? Isn’t it a bit unrealistic then  to expect your toddler to willingly part with his tos wheenver a strange child visits - read, invade his territory?

Being able to share is a developmental stage that most children under the age of three simply aren’t ready to manage.  Sharing requires quite a few learning steps and lots of patient teaching along the way: before a tot can share she has to learn what “mine” means.

The discovery of this magical word heralds your child’s awareness that there are some things she can move, control and keep.  Later she can learn that she can share something that belongs to her without losing it forever.

To encourage sharing:

- If a toy is special, don’t expect your child to share it, even if she has learned the meaning of sharing and taking in turns. If you are expecting visitors, help youc child put away special toys he finds difficult to share.  It can be helpful to bring out “sharing” toys such as blocks and balls, and play with little ones or stay very close and observe carefully to keep them on track as they get used to new friends, so play dates arent fraught with squabbles.

-Talk about which toys your child is happy to share, just as you introduce the idea of taking turns, “share for a little while”, then acknowledge and praise your child’s efforts (”good sharing, that is really kind!”) when he does share.

-Teach your child to share by  exaggerating your own sharing - “Mummy is sharing her orange with Daddy”. You can also use encouraging language - “it tastes better when we share” as you divide food.

- As toddlers get a little older, encourage sharing food by allowing one child to divide and the other to have first choice. This will soon see the chocolate bar meticulously divided down to the last crumb!

- If there is a row over a toy or food, remove it and distract both toddlers.

For more great tips to enhance your toddler’s development, see Toddler Tactics by Pinky McKay, which is sold right here at bebe. For more information about Pinky McKay’s Toddler Tactics workshops for parents  in Melbourne, visit www.pinkymckay.com.au

Question: “My hospital list includes terms I’ve never heard of before. Bunny rugs, swaddle wraps, muslins and sleep gowns. Can someone translate please?”

Answer: There are so many things to think of when it comes to preparing your hearts and home for a new baby, and to an expectant first time mum, it can all get quite confusing! There are ‘baby basic’s’ that are important to gather and have ready before welcome your baby, and then there are the things which we tend to purchase as our babies get closer simply because they are gorgeous and we cant resist! Here at bebe we have an extensive range of items that are just the thing for your hospital bag, and also items that you’ll simply have to have, for practicalities sakes, and also because they are too cute to leave behind.

BUNNY RUGS are blankets which are usually made of cotton or pure wool (or a combination of both) and used over your baby in the pram, to be wrapped in for a cuddle or laid on the change table in the shopping centre to keep germs at bay. They have 101 uses really! The same goes for SWADDLING CLOTHS, often also called MUSLINS or MUSLIN WRAPS. Although they are ideal for using to “swaddle’ your baby, they can be used to drape over the front of the pram to keep the sun away, as a sheet when the others are in the wash. With a light open weave that allows air to flow seamlessly through the material, muslins such as the Aden and Anais range are a popular ‘Nursery Essentials’ items for our customers.

SLEEP GOWNS are those wonderful old fashioned inventions that our great grandmothers used on babies. Both Nature Baby and Eeni Meeni Miini Moh have wonderful sleep gowns, and with their drawstring bottom it makes night time nappy changes a breeze. Who wants to fumble with a dozen press studs on the crutch of a growsuit, when you could simply use one of these gowns and make your wee one comfy in a much shorter time span? In beautiful organic fabrics, sleep gowns have come a long way since the cheesecloth versions of days gone by. Team them up with a Merino sleeping bag, and your little one will be drifting off to dreamland in cosy breathable fabrics, helping ensure that you are giving them the best chance possible of keeping a regular temperature through the night which can help a baby to sleep comfortably and well.

About the author: Donna Sheppard-Wright is a former nanny, mother of two delightful rascally sons and juggles a career as a birth attendant/post natal mother’s support with working part time at bebe (how does she do it?!).  We’re lucky to have Donna share her insight into her experience of new-motherhood and how to ensure you have the support you need when your baby arrives. Donna can be contacted at nurture@netspace.net.au

by Pinky McKay

“Have I ever done anything abusive to you?” I asked my daughter who had just affirmed that I had never smacked her. After a bit of a pause, my self image as gentle mummy was shattered. “Yes, you have” she said with absolute conviction. “When I was little, if we went out, and I had a dirty face, you would spit on your hanky and wipe it.”

That’s hardly a childhood trauma is it? Heck, I can remember my Nana, all dressed up in her hat and gloves, dabbing at my own face wtih a bit of spit on her lace hanky. It got me thinking how easy it is to simply do things to small children and babies, without even considering  how intrusive or disrespectful it might feel to them. Just for a moment, put yourself in your baby’s bootees: What if someone was shovelling food into your mouth, for instance, then if they wiped the leftovers off your face with as much sensitivity as they would mop up the high chair tray? How must it feel to have your legs pulled up in the air and your pants peeled off without so much as a ‘please’ or ‘thankyou’? We can be mindful how we do things to babies.

Firstly, you can tell your baby what you are about to do, rather than just sneaking up on him, and if you want to do something with your baby that isnt absolutely necessary, such as giving him a massage, ask his consent first. You might be thinking, what is the point of asking consent from a baby who can’t understand me, but even very tiny babies give very definate cues. By responding to their cues appropriately, we are teaching babies to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to things that are pleasurable or not and that they have choices. Really, respecting babies and little children is all about empathy - seeing yourself in your child’s place and interpreting her cues. A little respect goes a long way.

About the author - Pinky McKay is an Internationally Certified Lactation Consultant, a Certified Infant Massage Instructor with Infant Massage Australia and respected baby-care author.  Check out Pinky McKays books here.  For more information about Pinky - www.pinkymckay.com.au.

by Pinky McKay

Your toddler’s delaying tactics at bedtime - needing a drink, one more kiss, a lost toy - are her way of saying, “I really want you to stay with me.” From a toddlers perspective, it may be difficult to relax and fall asleep  if she feels stressed about being  left in her room alone, especially if she can hear adults having fun(talking, watching television) in another part of the house. Consider also if this is the only time of her, and your, busy day that your little one has your undivided attention. If this is the case, try to spend more one-on-one time with her during the day so her needs aren’t so intense at bedtime.

A consistent bedtime routine with specific rituals is important to enlist your toddler’s co-operation and help him feel secure. If your child feels especially clingy at bedtime, one way to help him is to tell the story of his day so that he can process the emotional ups and downs and ‘let them go’.

Once your toddler is close to three, you can begin setting limits at bedtime by telling him how many stories you will read before you start to minimise delaying tactics and calling out, try to anticpate his needs; before he gets into bed, let him get his toys in order, place a lidded cup of water within his reach and, before you settle down to read, ask him ‘what is the one last thing you need to do before stories?’  Help your child stay in bed until he is sleepy by staying in his room with him.

If you are moving to a stage of helping your child to get to sleep by himself (he will probably need to be close to three years or older before this will work), you could tell him that you will check on him in five minutes (or two or three minutes if this is more realistic at first). It is important to keep this promise so that he relaxes, knowing that you will be back soon.

For more strategies to make magic out of mayhem during the toddler years, see Pinky McKay’s new book “Toddler Tactics” (Penguin 2008) which is available  here at bebeonline

About the author - Pinky McKay is an Internationally Certified Lactation Consultant, a Certified Infant Massage Instructor with Infant Massage Australia and respected baby-care author.  For more information about Pinky - www.pinkymckay.com.au.