By Pinky

Your baby or toddler’s sleep patterns can be affected by his diet. Restlessness can be caused by allergies or food intolerance, sometimes to foods passing through your breastmilk (your baby is never allergic to your breastmilk). If you or your partner suffer from allergies such as excema, asthma or hay fever, or if there is a family history of allergies, there is an increased liklihood that your baby will also suffer from allergies. The best way to protect your baby from allergies is to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months. If you are bottle feeding and suspect allergies, consult a doctor. There are hypo-allergenic formulas, but these are expensive without a script.

Food allergies in exclusively breastfed babies are caused by foods that pass into your breastmilk, not to your breast-milk itself. Allergies in infants may cause symptoms including: colic, nausea, vomiting and reflux, wheezing and respiratory congestion, dermatitis and various rashes (although other medical causes should be ruled out for these symptoms). The most common culprit is cow’s milk protein (found in milk, cheese and yoghurt).

Food additives are present in ever-increasing numbers in almost all processed foods and these can dramatically affect sleep patterns and behaviour. Some babies and children can also become restless after eating foods containing salicylates. Food intolerance expert Sue Dengate has seen remarkable changes in children’s behaviour, including infant sleep patterns, with simple dietary changes, such as changing the brand of bread eaten.

Elimination of foods may take anywhere from a few days to several weeks to make a difference to your baby’s behaviour so allergies are difficult to prove or disprove, but if it calms your baby (and you), modifying your diet is a small sacrifice.

For more great tips about parenting, see Sleeping like a Baby by Pinky McKay available here at Bebe, or visit Pinky’s website - www.pinkymckay.com.au for information about her private consulting work in Melbourne.

by Pinky

The Australian National Health and Medical Research Council are currently  revising safe drinking guidelines and it looks as though pregnant and breastfeeding women will be advised not to drink alcohol at all. This is because, in light of worldwide research, a safe limit of alcohol consumption can’t be determined during pregnancy and breastfeeding. There are potential risks to babies whose immature livers arent able to process the alcohol transmitted through the placenta or their mother’s milk.

Known adverse affects on baby…..Daily consumption of alcohol by breastfeeding mothers has been shown to affect babies sleep patterns (with babies falling asleep more quickly but waking more often), increases the risk of slow weight gain and slows gross motor development.

And you……Although many people may tell you that a glass of alcohol will increase your milk supply, there is evidence that this isn’t the case. Drinking more than two standard drinks can inhibit your letdown and even small doses of alcohol can alter the taste of breast-milk. Babies dislike this, so may not drain the breast. These factors could result in temporarily reducing your milk supply and an inadequately drained breast could increase the liklihood of mastitis.

Alcohol levels in your milk……..If you do choose to drink while you are breastfeeding, it is important to be aware that alcohol will pass into your milk very easily - as your blood alcohol level rises, so does the level of alcohol in your breastmilk. The good news is that as your blood alcohol level drops, so does the level of alcohol in your milk. Alcohol peaks in your blood approximately half an hour to an hour after drinking (this varies among individuals, depending on factors such as how much food was eaten in the same time period, your body weight and percentage of body fat.

Reducing the risks…….Bear in mind that alcohol will affect your responsiveness to your baby so whether you , are breastfeeding or not, if you drink it is wise to have a designated parent (one parent stays sober and in charge of the baby) just as you would have a designated driver.

For more great tips to enhance your parenting life,  see Pinky McKay’s books available here at Bebe, or visit Pinky’s website for information about  Pinky and her workshops for parents.

Have you ever wondered why children love to roll down hills, swing upside down and spin around and around? This movement in all directions helps with  development of the vestibular apparatus, a system of canals within the inner ear covered in tiny hair-like structures called cilia. As fluid washes through these canals over the cilia, messages are sent to your child’s brain helping him learn about balance. A child with an immature vestibular system and poor balance may be labelled as ‘clumsy’ or he may have trouble sitting still and he may fidget and constantly wriggle or suffer from motion sickness.

To help stimulate your child’s vestibular system, playing outdoors is fun - let him roll down hills; swing on swings or ride a merry go round. Inside, you can sit in an empty office chair and slowly spin your child, first one way and then the other; gently spin im in a washing basket or spin as you give him a piggy back ride. Always spin back the other way to ‘unwind’ and remember that little and often is best- not more than a minute at a time.

You can help your toddler to develop balance, coordination, muscle tone, visual and auditory skills by giving lots of opportunities for physical activity.

You can assist hand-eye coordination through ball games and bubbles - letting your child watch, chase and catch bubbles. It’s great to also encourage role-playing and pretending. This encourages children to keep moving, silly walks, being animals, dressing up and dancing.

Hang up the car keys - and walk to the park!

For more great tips to enhance your toddler’s development, see Toddler Tactics by Pinky McKay available here at Bebe, or visit Pinky’s website for information about her Toddler Tactics workshops for parents.

By Pinky

Your baby or toddler’s sleep patterns can be affected by his diet. Restlessness can be caused by allergies or food intolerance, sometimes to foods passing through your breastmilk (your baby is never allergic to your breastmilk). If you or your partner suffer from allergies such as excema, asthma or hay fever, or if there is a family history of allergies, there is an increased liklihood that your baby will also suffer from allergies. The best way to protect your baby from allergies is to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months. If you are bottle feeding and suspect allergies, consult a doctor. There are hypo-allergenic formulas, but these are expensive without a script.

Food allergies in exclusively breastfed babies are caused by foods that pass into your breastmilk, not to your breast-milk itself. Allergies in infants may cause symptoms including: colic, nausea, vomiting and reflux, wheezing and respiratory congestion, dermatitis and various rashes (although other medical causes should be ruled out for these symptoms). The most common culprit is cow’s milk protein (found in milk, cheese and yoghurt).

Food additives are present in ever-increasing numbers in almost all processed foods and these can dramatically affect sleep patterns and behaviour. Some babies and children can also become restless after eating foods containing salicylates. Food intolerance expert Sue Dengate has seen remarkable changes in children’s behaviour, including infant sleep patterns, with simple dietary changes, such as changing the brand of bread eaten.

Elimination of foods may take anywhere from a few days to several weeks to make a difference to your baby’s behaviour so allergies are difficult to prove or disprove, but if it calms your baby (and you), modifying your diet is a small sacrifice.

For more great tips about parenting, see Sleeping like a Baby by Pinky McKay available here at Bebe, or visit Pinky’s website - www.pinkymckay.com.au for information about her private consulting work in Melbourne.

17 weeks along now, and getting a little too curious about what gender this little being is.  I’m no good at surprises, so waiting until the baby is born to reveal its gender was never really going to be an option for us. There’s been a few theories from those around me as to what gender this bub will be, and I do sense its gender too, but the proof will be in the pudding soon enough!  Taking the test is easy, just tick those that apply to your own pregnancy and presto… you have your “theoretical gender” according to some people that apparently know their stuff. 

IT’S A BOY IF….

You didnt experience morning sickness in early pregnancy

Your baby’s heart rate is less than 140 beats per minute

You are carrying a lot of extra weight out front

Your belly looks like a basketball

Your areolas have darkened considerably

You are carrying low

You are craving salty or sour foods

You are craving protein  - meats or cheese

Your feet are colder than before your pregnancy

The hair on your legs has grown faster during your pregnancy

Your hands are very dry

Pregnancy has you looking better than ever

Your urine is looking bright yellow in colour

You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves in circles

You are having headaches

You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number

IT’S A GIRL IF……

You had morning sickness early in pregnancy

Your baby’s heart rate is at least 140 beats per minute

You are carrying our weight in your hips and rear

Your left breast is larger than your right breast

Your hair develops red highlights

You are carrying high

Your belly looks like a watermelon

You are craving sweets

You are craving juice/fruit

You don’t look quite as good as normal during pregnancy

You are moodier than usual during pregnancy

Your face breaks out more than usual

Your breasts have really blossomed

Your urine is a dark yellow colour

You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves from side to side

You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number

Throughout my pregnancy with my first son I travelled extensively. Our little guy had been in Wales, Italy, Ireland, England, Hong Kong and Singapore by the time he was six months inutero. I imagined that once he was born the passion for travel would be innate, and so we planned on making that a reality. By the time Finn was 9 weeks old he had boarded his first flight to Cairns from Melbourne and within his first three years of life he’d boarded 14 planes, visited five other countries and taken many long car trips with us and his new brother around our state. We’ve had some pretty interesting moments along the way, but also learned a few tricks of the trade.

TIPS for SUCCESS

• Book tickets for flights out of peak/business times. You may get a quieter plane, and thus more room to move.
• Breastfeed or give your baby a dummy or bottle during take off and landing if they are awake, to prevent sore ears. Arrive at the airport at least 30 minutes earlier than you normally would have pre-kids. You never know when you’ll need to change a nappy or a whole outfit (yours or theirs!)
• If you are planning on visiting relatives overseas, plan ahead and do it with your child when they are quite young and less mobile. It will be easier for everyone and won’t create as much frustration for your child.
• Always pack more clothing than you think that you will need. Small people have an incredible habit of making mess.
• Pack a baby carrier.

There are times at an airport or when on a flight that are more difficult than others. Try and plan ahead so that you aren’t standing in a line at the airport at your childs normal nap or sleep time. If this is un-avoidable, use your baby carrier to keep your child close. Busy airports and strange faces galore are overwhelming for small people. Being safely strapped to their favourite people can make a huge difference to how much they cope with these busy places. With more than one child or children over the age of one, a compact stroller, such as the Quinny Zapp is a must have for enabling in-transit naps. The Quinny Zapp is an ideal stroller for travel as it fits into a compact travel bag and suitable to be carried on as on-board luggae.

AT TAKE-OFF & AT LANDING……

• Ask the airline staff for help. You can ask for a ‘meet and greet’ service, in which you’ll get help to get through cues and fast-track baggage collection.
• Ask for a bassinette seat. Depending on your childs age, you may be eligible for one. Even if it isnt a sleep space that suits your child, you can still use the extra foot room, and it’s a great vantage point for a wee one to check out everyone else from up high.
• Request an aisle seat. It’s the perfect place to sit down after walking some laps of the plane with your little one in your baby carrier, without having to climb over the knees of a perfect stranger.
• Please dont medicate your children. Whilst some parents believe that it is appropriate, I feel that parents should be cautious about using sedatives with young children. Dr Sarah Buckley (GP, mother and author) says that “although these are medically safe, they can have the opposite effect in some children, causing hyperactivity and nightmatres. A better alternative is to use physical contact and cuddles, which will reassure as well as soothe. Breastfeeding is an ideal sedative (for both mother and baby) and another excellent remedy is lavender oil, using 1-2 drops on the upper chest, or for a young baby, on their clothing.”

Travelling with children offers an abundance of wonderful experiences and rewards, and with some careful planning and a few ‘Plan B’s’ up your sleeve, taking off with the family can be an incredible time for you all. Happy and safe holidays! Enjoy making some beautiful memories.

About the author - Donna Sheppard-Wright is a former nanny, mother of two delightful rascally sons and juggles a career as a birth attendant/post natal mother’s support with working part time at bebe. We’re lucky to have Donna share her insight into her experience of new-motherhood and how to ensure you have the support you need when your baby arrives. Donna can be contacted at nurture@netspace.net.au.

by Pinky

“Can you come and see me, pleeeeeease?” Alison was sobbing down the phone. When I had seen her as an ante-natal client she was a strong, capable professional woman, pro-active about being prepared for becoming a mum. Now, she was vulnerable, teary and awash with post birth hormones. Being in hospital with ‘helpful’ people  prodding her body was an experience we had discussed, but until you actually have somebody grabbing your breast and shoving your baby’s head into it, it can be difficult to realise how hard it can be to speak up and how easily this realisation can further undermine your confidence. We are all conditioned that professionals are the ‘experts’ so even though it is your baby and your body, when you are a ‘beginner’ being assertive, especially when people  are trying to help you, becomes a whole new ball game.

Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive or telling people where to ’shove it.’ It is about asking for what you want and explaining how you feel without hostility. Trying saying, ” I would like…” “it would help….” or “I would prefer….” After a visit with Alison and some reassurance, she was able to tell the nurses “I would rather try attaching my baby by myself. Can you please just watch and see if he is attached properly.”

When you are dealing with professionals, although they deserve respect , you don’t have to accept everything they say as final and you have every right to ask questions. Enter all discussions at the same level as your health carer. For instance, if you need to ask questions, wait until you are at least sitting up and you are at eye level with your doctor. And, if you are feeling intimidated by a health professional, imagine them naked or in their underwear (or wearing a white sequinned Elvis suit if the thought of them in the buff brings on an attack of nausea).

For more great tips about parenting and new motherhood, see 100 ways to Calm the Crying by Pinky McKay available here at Bebe, or visit Pinky’s website for information about her consulting work in Melbourne.

By Pinky

I had taken a family to an antenatal class to demonstate baby massage to the pregnant parents. As this gorgeous little three month old chuckled with glee, holding out her tiny leg for a massage, one of the expectant fathers asked, “does this meant that she will be ‘high maintenance’ later on?”

Although I jokingly deflected his question, I realised a few comments later that there was a fear among the group about creating bad habits and ’spoiling’ babies by giving them too much attention. Sadly I also meet many new parents who feel they need to justify their actions or seek approval because their babies need help to settle or love to be held lots. For many parents, it seems that this fear of ‘bad habits’ is clouding the joy of being with their families.

There is alot of pressure to have a ‘good baby’ - a baby who will self settle and sleep for hours or at least a baby who doesnt demand attention. The truth is, there is no such person as a ‘good’ baby. Babies are just like the rest of us with legitimate emotional needs as well as the more obvious physical needs to be clean and fed. Some little people are more sensitive and some are more social than others. Also, just like us, some days they need extra cuddles (as do their mothers on these high need days!)

The good news is that your loving attention can make your baby smarter: neuroscientists and clinicians have documented that loving interactions that are sensitive to a child’s needs influence the way the brain grows and can increase the number of connections between nerve cells. Other research shows that rather than becoming ‘high maintenance’, babies whose needs are responded to in the first six months of life are less demanding toddlers.

So, rather than letting guilt or concern that you may be creating ‘bad habits’ or extra work in the long run by giving your baby too much attention, why not relax and enjoy every sweet cuddle and coo. There will be plenty of time later on to change any habit ‘gradually with love’ and, whether you want to stop rocking your baby to sleep or encourage him to amuse himself on the floor, transitions will be easier when your child is developmentally ready. Meanwhile, ignore the critics who caution that you will spoil your little one as you consider the words of American paediatric nurse specialist Kittie Frantz who advises, “you are not managing an inconvenience, you’re raising a human being.”

For more great tips about parenting, see Sleeping like a Baby by Pinky McKay available here at Bebe, or visit Pinky’s website - www.pinkymckay.com.au for information about her private consulting work in Melbourne.

By Pinky McKay

Do you lend your friends your car, computer or brand new shoes? Isn’t it a bit unrealistic then  to expect your toddler to willingly part with his tos wheenver a strange child visits - read, invade his territory?

Being able to share is a developmental stage that most children under the age of three simply aren’t ready to manage.  Sharing requires quite a few learning steps and lots of patient teaching along the way: before a tot can share she has to learn what “mine” means.

The discovery of this magical word heralds your child’s awareness that there are some things she can move, control and keep.  Later she can learn that she can share something that belongs to her without losing it forever.

To encourage sharing:

- If a toy is special, don’t expect your child to share it, even if she has learned the meaning of sharing and taking in turns. If you are expecting visitors, help youc child put away special toys he finds difficult to share.  It can be helpful to bring out “sharing” toys such as blocks and balls, and play with little ones or stay very close and observe carefully to keep them on track as they get used to new friends, so play dates arent fraught with squabbles.

-Talk about which toys your child is happy to share, just as you introduce the idea of taking turns, “share for a little while”, then acknowledge and praise your child’s efforts (”good sharing, that is really kind!”) when he does share.

-Teach your child to share by  exaggerating your own sharing - “Mummy is sharing her orange with Daddy”. You can also use encouraging language - “it tastes better when we share” as you divide food.

- As toddlers get a little older, encourage sharing food by allowing one child to divide and the other to have first choice. This will soon see the chocolate bar meticulously divided down to the last crumb!

- If there is a row over a toy or food, remove it and distract both toddlers.

For more great tips to enhance your toddler’s development, see Toddler Tactics by Pinky McKay, which is sold right here at bebe. For more information about Pinky McKay’s Toddler Tactics workshops for parents  in Melbourne, visit www.pinkymckay.com.au

by Pinky

I love watching parents and babies interact, especially the gazing that goes on between mother-infant pairs. It is like a secret, intimate language between lovers as each looks at the other as though they are the most wonderful person in the whole world. And this is exactly how it feels when mother and baby are perfectly attuned to each other.

Sadly though, many parents and particularly mothers, are being given advice that interrupts this exquisite bond. I have had mothers call me knowing intuitively that something is amiss as they say “my baby won’t make eye contact”. At first I was baffled - the baby concerned looked directly at me and smiled (so thankfully nothing was intrinsically wrong).  Apart from distress about her baby’s lack of eye contact, the mum wasnt exhibiting any symptoms of chronic postnatal distress or depression. So what, I wondered, had happened to create a breakdown in the connection between mother and child?

It turned out that this mother - and others I have met with a similar reaction from their babies since - have been religiously following a very strict sleep training regime that advocated avoiding eye contact with her baby. Although it is wise to keep bedtimes calm and gentle, imagine how you would feel if your partner repeatedly avoided your gaze. How do you feel when people avoid eye contact with you?

Eye contact is an important element of parent child bonding and the development of trust between parent and child: your face is the most potent visual stimulus your baby encounters, and as you and your baby gaze into each other’s eyes, endorphin levels rise in your baby’s brain, producing feelings of joy. Your own endorphin levels will rise and in turn, you and your baby become emotionally synchronised.

According to Margot Sunderland, Director of Education and Training for the Centre for Child Mental Health in London and author of The Science of Parenting, face to face conversations between you and your baby and teh subsequent release of optimal hormonal levels into your childs brain will help develop pathways in your child’s higher brain that encourage social intelligence, the ability to form relationships. Ms Sunderland says, “the ability to “light you up” is the very basis of your baby’s sense of himself as lovely and lovable.

Fortunately, with a little time teaching these mothers to read and respond to their babies’ cues and, with interaction such as baby massage and games that involve face to face contact, they and their babies are soon engaging with each other again. So, please be reassured, if you have been trying to follow a rigid baby care plan but feel it is interrupting the bond between you and your child, it is never too late to make changes. Above all, you havent irreparably damaged your relationship with your child, but please look into your baby’s eyes and say “I love you”, and wait for her to meet your gaze.  

About the author - Pinky McKay is an Internationally Certified Lactation Consultant, a Certified Infant Massage Instructor with Infant Massage Australia and respected baby-care author.  Check out Pinky McKays books here.  For more information about Pinky - www.pinkymckay.com.au.