36-38 toorak road south yarra 03 9821 4405
contact us  |  sign in  |  my account  |  view cart
browse store
browse blog

published: September 2nd, 2010 | category: items of interest, parenting articles

Everybody becomes stressed when a baby cries -that’s nature’s way of making sure somebody looks after these helpless little beings. But it also tends to give rise to lots of well meant advice, and somebody is bound to ask, “are you sure you have enough milk?” or “Are you sure your milk is strong enough?”

To maintain your confidence, it is important to be well-informed and find yourself a cheering squad. Surround yourself with positive voices - other women who have happily breastfed and people who will tell you, “you are doing a great job!”. If you don’t have any friends or family who fit this category, get along to a support group like the Australian Breastfeeding Association (www.breastfeeding.asn.au ). These groups have trained counsellors who can boost your confidence on line or with a phone call (day or night), and they also have lending libraries of books about all aspects of parenting, as well as breastfeeding.

Partners, take note: protect your lady and your baby from anybody (even your own mother) who so much as whispers, “perhaps she needs a bottle.”

Meanwhile, remember, baby’s sucking at your breast stimulates milk production. According to the law of supply and demand, the more baby sucks, the more milk your breasts will make. If you are worried that baby is hungry, offer the breast again, even after a few minutes (he may have had an air bubble that popped and left a gap).

If your baby is having a growth spurt (these are common at 6 weeks and 3 months, but can happen at any time), he will have a corresponding appetite increase . This doesn’t mean you are running out of milk -it simply means he will need to suck more often for a few days to give your breasts the message that they need to produce more milk. When your breasts catch up with the increased demand (and they will, if you take things easy for a few days, offer skin to skin cuddles to stimulate your milk production hormones, and respond to your baby’s early hunger signals), things will settle down again.  If you offer a bottle as a ‘top up’, he won’t be sucking the whole amount of milk from your breasts and they won’t get the message to increase the supply. At the next feed you may offer another bottle, and again, the decreased sucking causes your milk supply to dwindle until you find that, very soon, your baby is weaned.

Babies regulate the type of milk they need by the way they suck. The first (fore) milk will quench their thirst, which is why they often have very short, frequent feeds on hot days (if you feed your baby according to his needs, he won’t need bottles of water). Hunger will be satisfied by longer sucking periods when baby gets the fatty hind milk that is squeezed  down into your ducts by the reflex known as “letdown”.

You baby’s needs will change from day to day and as he grows. A baby needs to “finish” the first breast first, in order to get the hind milk. But if you continue to feed on one side only as baby grows and goes longer between feeds, each breast may only be emptied every six to eight hours. Ouch!  A good way to avoid the lopsided look (and mastitis) is to feed baby on one side until he chooses to drop off, then have a little play and a nappy change, wrap him securely and give him the other side before you put him back to bed. This way he will seem to go longer between feeds too - a win/win all round!

Problems with your milk supply may be the result of incorrect positioning, or a problem with baby’s ’suck’  or perhaps a problem such as tongue tie (this can be easily fixed with a quick snip by a doctor), which may prevent baby from emptying your breasts properly (get your maternal and child health nurse or a lactation consultant to watch you breastfeed if you have doubts- babies who can’t maintain a ’suck’ may need assessment by a paediatrician); of feeding from one side only; of offering bottles (which require a different sucking action so can make breastfeeding less efficient); or of rigorously scheduling feeds, so you are offering feeds either when your baby isn’t hungry or has waited too long so isn’t able to feed effectively.

So, watch your baby, not the clock. By responding to your baby’s cues for food and comfort, you are helping him learn to communicate his needs, and experience having them satisfied. It is perfectly normal for a breastfed baby to need feeding every two hours at first  - and that means two hours from the beginning of one feed to the beginning of the next, not two hours between feeds.  As your baby grows and his stomach capacity increases, feeding will become much more efficient and quicker so you won’t be ‘feeding all day’.

Some mothers swear by herbal remedies such as raspberry leaf tea or fenugreek tea, or fenugreek or blessed thistle tablets (not milk thistle) to help boost their milk supply, and one way to overcome tension if you think your let down reflex is affected by stress, or a lack of confidence, is to practise relaxation breathing and visualise milk flowing over a waterfall when you begin feeding. Meanwhile, be reassured that what comes out must have gone in:  Your baby is getting enough milk if she is having six to eight pale wet (cloth) or five heavy disposable nappies every day, is thriving and gaining weight, and is only drinking breast milk.

Pinky McKay is the author of  ‘Sleeping Like a Baby’ ( Penguin Australia) , ‘100 Ways to Calm the Crying‘ and ‘Toddler Tactics’. A mother of five, Pinky is an international Board certified lactation consultant and a certified infant massage instructor.  For information about classes and workshops visit Pinky’ s website www.pinkymckay.com.au

published: August 26th, 2010 | category: In-store events, parenting articles

Are you confused about infant sleep advice? Exhausted and
wondering “when will my baby sleep through?”  Can’t
bear to leave your baby to cry?

Take heart - help is coming.

Best selling author of “Sleeping Like a Baby” and
“100 Ways to Calm the Crying”, Pinky Mckay has pulled
out all stops and organised an incredible line up of
internationally acclaimed infant sleep experts to share
their expertise with you on a ground breaking teleseminar
series.

These professionals include an acclaimed SIDS researcher
and Infant Sleep Lab director, a psychologist specialising
in infant mental health, a leading expert in women’s health
trauma and breastfeeding (she will be discussing breastfeeding,
night time parenting and postnatal depression) and a best
selling baby care author who has sold books in 18 countries!
They will be sharing a wealth of exciting information with you
about the latest infant sleep research as well as practical
strategies you can implement right now!

Pinky is doing a FREE  preview call on 26th August. On this
call she will be announcing who these experts are, what they
will be sharing with you - and how you can get a very generous
early bird discount to hear the calls with these leading
international experts.

If you haven’t listened to a teleseminar before, it’s easy
you just listen on your phone or computer. All calls will
be recorded so you can download and listen later when it
suits you - wherever you live, whatever your time-zone, your work
schedule or your baby’s routine.

Check it out and register here!

published: August 19th, 2010 | category: items of interest, parenting articles

My Mother-in-law called last night and when I told her my partner was in the kitchen cooking dinner, she said, “he is spoiling you!”  Then when she spoke to him, the first thing she said was, “you are spoiling her!”   Jacqueline, mum of a five week old baby says, “I felt as though it was a dig at me. I am finding it difficult enough to get through the day as it is, without managing cooking as well.  My confidence has plummeted - I worry about all the things I ‘should’ be doing and can’t manage and I question my mothering skills every time I receive some new information or a comment from somebody. Today, I was asked, “is she in a routine?”  I have just got breastfeeding sorted after a rough start and now I am being pressured about having a routine and letting her fall asleep on the breast and how long I should let her feed. I am consumed about doing things ‘the right way’ - whatever that is.

The absolute and total responsibility of caring for your tiny, vulnerable baby and an overload of information can be enough to send the most competent woman into a crisis of confidence and elicit feelings that you are living on some sort of neurotic knife edge. Advice, whether it is appropriate or not can create a serious obsession about the simplest things when it concerns your baby’s well-being, especially in the early months when your hormones are rampant and everyone else seems to want to share their opinion. Sarah, mum of a very alert five month old is beginning to feel more confident than a few weeks ago when a health professional advised her to start her fully breastfed baby on solids much earlier than the recommended six months because she could have ‘small baby syndrome’. Sarah says, “the word ‘syndrome’ shattered my confidence totally. I was became obsessed about her size, even though I am petite myself. Thankfully I got another opinion and did my own research. On the World Health weight charts my baby is doing just fine but it really played on my mind that I must be doing something wrong - even starving my child.”

With such enormous pressure to be seen to be ‘coping’ self doubt is often bottled up, leaving mums without the support that could help get things into perspective. Recently, a colleague who counsels mums with postnatal depression told me that she was seeing four mums all from the same mothers group. Due to professional confidentiality she couldn’t disclose to these mums that she was seeing the others but when she suggested, “have you talked about your feelings in your mums group? That could be really supportive.” The response from each of the mums was the same,” I couldn’t possibly discuss how I feel. Everyone else is so ‘together’.

As I encourage mums to reach out and share or seek support, there is a quote I love to share. It is by Jean Leidloff, a city woman from New York who spent time living with the Yequana Indians in South America. Her experience prompted her to write “The Continuum Concept’ where she says, “I would be ashamed to admit to the Indians that where I come from the women do not feel themselves capable of raising children until they have read the instructions written by a strange man.”

Perhaps you could copy this quote and write it on a mirror somewhere in bright coloured lipstick. Then each time you wonder, what am I doing wrong? Read this and remind yourself that every other mammal in the world instinctively knows how to rear their young - and so do you. Whatever advice you read or hear, you know your baby best. And if you still have doubts, look at the beautiful child in your arms, gaze into those deep navy blue eyes and tell yourself - my baby is proof, I am doing a wonderful job!

Pinky McKay is the author of  ‘Sleeping Like a Baby’ ( Penguin Australia) , ‘100 Ways to Calm the Crying’ and ‘Toddler Tactics’. A mother of five, Pinky is an international Board certified lactation consultant and a certified infant massage instructor.  For information about classes and workshops visit Pinky’ s website www.pinkymckay.com.au

published: August 9th, 2010 | category: Karen, Mum Guest Blogs, items of interest, parenting articles

Dear Self,

I can hear you saying these words as if it was only yesterday “A life without a baby can be just as fulfilling as life with children. Not everyone HAS to have kids you know”. These words are true. Just not for you. For a long time now you’ve been feeling like you’re on the edge of something, that if you just take one more step, something life altering and spiritually awakening will happen and bring you back to your ’self’. It will, and his name is Alex.

This child will strip you bare. He will expose every emotion, every pre-conceived idea about what your life ‘should‘ look like. He will shake the routine of your days you cling to so desperately, craving change, but afraid to accept it. He will make you face every one of your demons before you even feel him kick inside you. You will work hard to keep our head above water for the first 12 weeks of your pregnancy as you deal with your ‘stuff’ and find your way to acceptance and surrender to this new chapter. You have to hit bottom before you can raise yourself back up. This is not a bad thing, don’t be scared of it. You will be stronger for it soon. I promise.

At 20 weeks you will be watching as the radiographer glides the ultrasound over your swollen belly. You’re still not quite connected to this little being inside you. In a matter of seconds, you will be. The image on the screen will clear and you will see your child’s perfect little hand, raised as if waving to you. It won’t be hearing the heartbeat or feeling him kick that gets you. It will be his hand.

You will glow. You will have the thick, glossy hair you’ve always wanted. You will fill a D cup. You will start to change. First in the clothes you wear, then in your mind, as you throw off the restrictions of your professional persona and start stepping into your ‘real’ life. Don’t worry about fitting out his nursery. He will sleep with you for much longer than you think. You will start to trust your body and it’s ability to deliver your baby safely. You will feel powerful and confident as you learn all can about birth. You will plan for a drug free, natural, water birth. Be willing to abandon control. The labour you get may not be the labour you hope for.

You have no way to prepare yourself for the moment he arrives and is placed in your arms. No way to anticipate the flood of tears that will escape as he seeks your breast for comfort and nourishment. No comprehension of just how much love you will be filled with. Love for him, for Denis and for your self. That’s OK. Don’t be scared that you won’t feel it. Your eyes will meet and everything else will just fall away.

Trust your instincts. Nurse him. Hold him. Soothe him as often as you like. Bring him into your bed. Keep him close in the sling. Read the books but don’t live by them. Rest. Let others help. You will find your way. Don’t give up on breastfeeding. It does get easier. You will cherish it the years ahead.

As his first year draws to a close, you will feel more like yourself than ever before. You will find a group of women to connect with and you won’t sit there rolling your eyes, as you think you will now. Friendships will change, new ones will come into your life and you will find it hard to talk about anything other than babies. You will be tired, but just wait and see how much you can achieve on 2 hours sleep!

So you have a choice to make. Your life will be wonderful no matter which path you choose. But there’s a little soul waiting to come into your life. Let him in and the possibilities are endless.

Love , Karen

published: August 4th, 2010 | category: items of interest, parenting articles

Before you had your baby, all your friends said about your partner, “he will be a wonderful Dad!”  Now though, you are wondering, where is the evidence?  At first he was enthusiastic: he changed nappies and carried your baby on his big strong arms as she cried with colic, he brought you drinks when you were feeding and he threw washing in the machine. But, somehow, he has stopped helping. In fact, he has almost disappeared off the parenting scene altogether- he is working later and when he is around he doesn’t offer to help any more. In fact, he barely seems to have the energy or inclination to talk to you, let alone discuss parenting goals.

Consider, could your partner’s lack of enthusiasm be due to your never ending complaints about the help he tried to give you in the early days? Although you felt you were just explaining how to do things properly, could each little ‘tip’ about the ‘right way’ to hold your baby; how whites and colours don’t mix in the wash; or how to put her head in her singlet have taken their toll on your partner’s confidence? Could he be feeling left out and unappreciated or, even worse, relegated to the status of your apprentice (and a very junior one at that)? Could he be wondering why his beloved has become such a demanding princess or, even worse, a harping bitch?

When you try and look at things from your less than helpful partner’s perspective, it really isn’t a mystery why he is spending more time at work. This is where he feels competent and he is spared from endless complaints about his well-meaning efforts to share parenting.

In all fairness, your super protective drive to care for your baby so vigilantly doesn’t mean you have turned into an irreversible control freak. Rather, it is due to the natural, biological effects of a potent hormonal cocktail that begins to brew during late pregnancy and peaks after birth. This potent ‘chemistry of attachment’ is designed for infant survival and the all consuming nurturing behaviour it promotes is so well-recognised that scientists have labelled it ‘the motherhood mindset’ or ‘maternal pre-occupation’.

By being aware of your strong maternal urges to do everything the ‘right way’ for your baby, you may be able to tame your inner mother lioness and begin to trust your partner with more baby care. Then, the more involved he becomes with his child, the more he will want to be involved. You see, fathers too can be affected by a hormonal shift that helps them become attuned to their babies - as long as they are ‘hands on’. For instance, skin contact with their babies will stimulate a release of hormones that encourage responsiveness and eye contact will encourage the release of beta-endorphins, the hormones of pleasure and reward (which make them want to engage even more).

So, rather than correct your partner’s every effort or even try to explain how things ‘should’ be done, try to actively encourage interaction between your baby and partner. It really won’t matter if baby gets a bit of bathwater in his eyes or his nappy is back to front occasionally (practice really will make perfect here - watch quietly as he tries to undo those tabs next time!).  And, if your inner mother lioness begins to roar, step back (literally!): go and have a quiet cuppa as your partner has a bath with your baby or gives him a massage. And remember to tell your guy what a wonderful support he is and how you love watching him when he tells your baby funny stories, rocks him to sleep snuggled against his chest, sings songs to her (whatever, but give him tangible evidence that you have noticed his efforts).

Even if it feels that your feedback is only a wishful affirmation at this stage, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy if your partner feels appreciated for his efforts rather than a hopeless klutz who can’t do anything right. After all, you made your baby together, it is important for your child and your relationship to parent together.

Pinky McKay is the author of  ‘Sleeping Like a Baby’ ( Penguin Australia) , ‘100 Ways to Calm the Crying‘ and ‘Toddler Tactics’. A mother of five, Pinky is an international Board certified lactation consultant and a certified infant massage instructor.  For information about classes and workshops visit Pinky’ s website www.pinkymckay.com.au

published: August 2nd, 2010 | category: items of interest, parenting articles

We live in a busy world that encourages productivity. Whether you are working outside the home or not, or whether this is your only child or you have several, it can be tempting or necessary to pack a lot of activity into your day. Your daytime activity can impact on your child’s night-time sleep. Babies and small children are like little barometers of our own feelings. If we feel stressed or spend too little time with them, they will pick up on this and demand our attention either during the day or, more than likely, at bedtime. They are also likely to have difficulty winding down and relaxing into a sound sleep and they may become wakeful at night. Some babies will even get into a ‘reverse cycle’ pattern of sleeping. This is reasonably common for babies who experience separation from their mothers during the day. Breastfed babies, in particular, may wake to feed more during the night if days are busy or they spend time in childcare.

While sleep disturbances could be an indicator that you may need to reassess your daily activities, they can also be your baby or toddler’s way of stocking up on ‘mummy time’. This is a legitimate need, not a naughty little ploy for attention (which, of course, is a legitimate need in itself). Just as he needs food, exercise and sleep, your baby or toddler needs a quota of parent time and cuddles every day to reach optimum levels of development. One practical way of addressing this need is by doing a special activity each day, as soon as you pick up your child from care, such as having a romp in the park together. If you are breastfeeding, giving him a breastfeed when you pick him up, before you leave his carer, will help him reconnect with you - offer to pay for this extra time if you feel you are ‘imposing’ or stretching the rules.

When you get home, it can be nice to take a relaxing bath together with your little one(s) and reconnect before dinner and bedtime. Sorry folks, but in my view, plonking your child in front of the TV so you can cook dinner isn’t an excuse, especially if you have been away from him all day, and it can create unnecessary night-waking as your child desperately tries to catch up on mummy or daddy time.

Connecting immediately after work can alleviate the next problem likely to cause disturbed sleep: although it may be tempting to keep your baby up to enjoy time together in the evening, this can backfire in the form of more restless sleep as your child becomes overtired or overstimulated before bedtime. It is better to wake early and play together in the morning before work and childcare drop-off (prepare clothes and pack bags the night before). It is also worth considering co-sleeping or at least making time for cuddles in bed together in the morning, so that you and your child don’t miss out on this precious connecting time.

Pinky McKay is the author of  ‘Sleeping Like a Baby’ ( Penguin Australia) , ‘100 Ways to Calm the Crying’ and ‘Toddler Tactics’. A mother of five, Pinky is an international Board certified lactation consultant and a certified infant massage instructor.  For information about classes and workshops visit Pinky’ s website www.pinkymckay.com.au

published: July 25th, 2010 | category: parenting articles

A great article on Attachment Parenting in this month’s Practical Parenting written by Pinky McKay and featuring our very own Carey, who enjoys this style of parenting…

published: July 14th, 2010 | category: items of interest, parenting articles

When I arrived at Melanie’s house, she and two week old baby Liam were crying. Melanie was exhausted and stressed about her low milk supply. She had been up three hourly during the night to feed then settle Liam so she could express around the clock. Since 6am she and her partner had been taking turns walking the floor with Liam. It was now midday and, guess what, Melanie hadn’t eaten a thing herself.

This scenario is not unusual. I have seen many mothers who set themselves extreme standards of nurturing and housework yet completely neglect their own well-being. It seems to be a reflection of the pressure (either external or self-imposed) that now you have a baby, you don’t matter. Of course a helpless baby needs to have his needs met but a hungry mum, affected by low blood sugar and exhaustion isn’t up to making good decisions or meeting her baby’s needs.

After asking Melanie, “when did you last eat?”  I sent her to the kitchen to find something healthy. While she made herself a toasted sandwich, I suggested Melanie’s partner rocked little Liam to sleep in a sling. Dad was then able to eat and browse the weekend paper before walking to the shops (with Liam) to stock up on staples like bread and toilet paper, while Melanie went off to bed for some much needed rest.

After eating, Melanie’s tears subsided and she was able to think straight as together we made a simple plan of feed baby; feed mum; and rest while baby sleeps. We also discussed what support was available as her partner had just started a new job and had to return to work.

Although asking for help is difficult for most of us, friends and family are usually very excited to be able to share the joy of a new baby, either by bringing food, hanging out ( the endless) washing or simply holding a baby while you rest. One forward thinking mum I met had asked baby shower guests to pledge help instead of baby gifts. She said this helped her feel very supported and eliminated the awkwardness of having to ask for help when she was feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed.

Of course, many new mums don’t live near their own parents and have a very small (if any) community of potential helpers. In these cases it is worth prioritising a portion of your budget to hiring extra help - a cleaner, a doula (a Greek word for ‘mother’s servant’, and this is exactly her role), a gardener or even dog walker - whatever will be useful to help lighten your load.

Taking care of you

If you want help from your partner, say so and be specific about what you need. Being a parent won’t suddenly bless him with mind reading powers and simmering with resentment won’t get the washing out.

Have a shower early - pop baby in a rocker in the bathroom if she is likely to yell. If you are dressed, you feel more in control if things go ‘pear shaped’ later. Also if you are dressed you can go for a walk -exercise will boost endorphins (feel good hormones) and getting out can help alleviate that ‘trapped’ feeling.

Stock up on nutritious foods that are easily prepared and eaten with one hand - bananas, boiled eggs, cans of tuna, yoghurt, wholegrain bread, cereals - and use cooking appliances that make life easy (a slow cooker, a rice cooker, a sandwich toaster and a blender for smoothies).

Accept all offers of help. If you are expecting visitors (or hear them pull up unexpectedly) leave vegetables and chopping board on the bench. You may need to mention, “I was just starting dinner when the baby woke.”  Only the most unhelpful person wouldn’t feel obliged to prepare your vegetables for you.

Make feeding time a ‘rest break’ for you. Fill a ‘feeding basket’ with snacks, water bottle, book, phone and remote control and while baby feeds, put your feet up and RELAX.

Pinky McKay is the author of  ‘Sleeping Like a Baby’ ( Penguin Australia) , ‘100 Ways to Calm the Crying’ and ‘Toddler Tactics’. A mother of five, Pinky is an international Board certified lactation consultant and a certified infant massage instructor.  For information about classes and workshops visit Pinky’ s website www.pinkymckay.com.au

published: July 3rd, 2010 | category: items of interest, parenting articles

Your day doesn’t have to run like ‘clockwork’ but a fairly predictable rhythm marked with rituals will bring comfort and connection as you share family time with love and reverence amid the chaos of everyday life.

We all have different priorities and values to share with our children, and these can be reflected in daily rituals such as saying a blessing or lighting a candle before sharing meals or singing a special bedtime song; weekly rituals such as fish and chip night, pancake breakfasts on Saturday, or Sunday lunch with extended family; seasonal rituals such as spring cleaning or raking Autumn leaves and of course, special celebrations such as birthdays and holidays.

As well as creating your own unique family culture and cementing family bonds, there are documented benefits of implementing family rituals: after reviewing 50 years of research, psychologists at New York’s Syracuse University concluded that families who reported following routines such as eating together, bedtime lullabies, birthday celebrations and meals with extended family enjoyed some important health benefits: better overall children’s health, increased marital satisfaction and less stress.

Creating rituals:

Examine your day. Which acts are habitual and what activities do you and your child enjoy (or find a challenge). Consider how you can invest this time with meaning - with a favourite song or lighting a candle, for instance or perhaps a specific activity before or after work.

Take it slowly. Too many changes can be as chaotic as no rituals at all. Waking and bedtime are significant transitions, so these are a good starting point for creating rituals.

Look to your own childhood. What were your happiest celebrations? How can you weave this magic for your own child?

You are unique so is your child. Your rituals are a part of what identifies you as a family, so throw out pre-conceived ideas if they don’t suit and celebrate your individuality. If both parents are from different cultural backgrounds, for instance, mix your own blend of celebrations as you expose your children to the richness of both extended families.

Pinky McKay is the author of  ‘Sleeping Like a Baby’ ( Penguin Australia) , ‘100 Ways to Calm the Crying’ and ‘Toddler Tactics’. A mother of five, Pinky is an international Board certified lactation consultant and a certified infant massage instructor.  For information about classes and workshops visit Pinky’ s website www.pinkymckay.com.au

published: June 20th, 2010 | category: parenting articles

“Can you come and see me, pleeeease?”  Alison was sobbing down the phone. When I had seen her as an antenatal client she was a strong, capable professional woman, pro-active about being prepared for becoming a mum. Now, she was vulnerable, teary and awash with post birth hormones. Being in hospital with ‘helpful’ people prodding her body was an experience we had discussed, but until you actually have somebody grabbing your breast and shoving your baby’s head into it, it can be difficult to realise how hard it can be to speak up and how easily this realisation can further undermine your confidence.  We are all conditioned that professionals are the ‘experts’ so even though it is your baby and your body, when you are a ‘beginner’ being assertive, especially when people are trying to help you, becomes a whole new ball-game.

From the time you discover you are pregnant, you can find yourself the target of ‘helpful’ advice and you may at times have to assert yourself with family, friends and health professionals to get support for your choices around birth and parenting. But it is the intrusion on your bodily space that can be hardest to handle with dignity.

Friends and family can be comparatively easy to distract politely or with a bit of humour and if they are more intrusive, practising your assertiveness skills on them during pregnancy can give you a head start for when you need to express your needs politely but firmly with strangers, including professionals.

Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive or telling people where to ‘shove it’ (not on my breast, please!). It is about asking for what you want and explaining how you feel without hostility: try saying, ‘I would like…’ ‘it would help if…’ or ‘I would prefer…’

After a visit with Alison and some reassurance, she was able to tell the nurses, “I would rather try attaching my baby by myself. Can you please just watch and see if he is attached properly.”

When you are dealing with professionals, although they deserve respect, you don’t have to accept everything they say as final and you have every right to ask questions.  Your birth plan can be a handy tool for discussion. It can also help to write down any questions that occur to you between check-ups, so that you remember to raise them at your next appointment. Enter all discussions at the same level as your health carer: for instance, if you need to ask questions, wait until you are at least sitting up and you are at eye level with your doctor. After all, it isn’t easy to ask questions when you are lying naked from the waste down with your legs spread and somebody you have just met is peering into your vagina! And, if you are feeling intimidated by a health professional, imagine them naked or in their underwear (or wearing a white sequinned Elvis suit if the thought of them in the buff brings on an attack of nausea).

Pinky McKay is an Internationally Certified Lactation Consultant, infant massage instructor and author of Sleeping Like a Baby , 100 Ways to Calm the Crying and Toddler Tactics. For her Free Report “10 things you must know about breastfeeding before you have your baby” visit  http:www.pinkymckay.com.au

Next Page »